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At Difficult Love, we believe in the power of partnership. Our personalised 1:1 coaching sessions are designed to help you navigate your current life season with warmth and biblical wisdom. Expect attentive listening, a tailored plan to meet your unique needs, and honest conversations that empower you to move forward in faith. What you can expect from a session; - Warm, honest conversations grounded in biblical wisdom and experience - Attentive listening to make sure you feel heard and understood - Sharing practical tips and prayer points - Finding actionable solutions and helpful resources Please ensure you come with a pen and notebook.

A desire that God placed in your heart can quickly turn into idolatry if it is not stewarded properly and if God is not truly at the centre. This was my case. I was so eager to get married that I viewed some of the men I met as potential husbands, causing me to ignore certain warning signs. When I did not see marriage coming from those situations, I forced the relationships. I compromised, and I’m sure the men could sense that desperation. It was foolish, because firstly, I did not seek revelation from God about whether these men were my husbands. Secondly, I did not truly know God , the One who created marriage. Third, I did not even understand what marriage was actually about. This lack of understanding led me to repeated rejection, emotional abuse, and unhealthy relationships. Over time, I was fully operating in a Jezebel spirit, trying to control narratives and men instead of trusting God. Desperation can indeed lead to spiritual compromise. At one point, I was so hurt by an ex that I went online and found a simple spell. I used a candle and recited words, hoping he would call me. Minutes later, I received a message. I was looking for an apology, but none came. However, we reconnected. That moment opened a demonic door, just like the verse "Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. ”Matthew 12:43–45. Things went from bad to worse, leading to a relationship filled with shameful, lustful acts and both physical and spiritual consequences that caused further damage in my life. I share this to say that God does give us the desires of our hearts when those desires are aligned with and submitted to Him. As Scripture says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  However, when a desire is not submitted to God, the enemy can use it to lead a person into lust, control, manipulation, and other destructive patterns, especially when marriage becomes idolised. Learn what marriage truly is through the Holy Spirit and through God’s Word, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you, whether through Scripture, prayer, or Spirit-led ministries. Learn how to love God wholeheartedly, love yourself, and love people; that way, you will know how to love your spouse. Worldly books can give a worldly perspective. Some may be helpful, but they should always be approached with discernment and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Worldly knowledge without God does not produce wisdom. I learned the hard way that when God is not first, even good desires can become dangerous. Tips and Prayer points Repent for Idolising marriage, relationships and anything you have put before God. Repent for witchcraft, manipulation, control, covetousness. D ecide to put God first. Decide to study His word day and night. Treat God like your Husband. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal anything you have idolised. When anything comes to mind, repent. Ask God to remove all unhealthy desires. Break all soul ties with previous partners if you have not already. Ask God whathis will is for your life concerning marriage. With Love, Victoria

In Daniel chapter 4, God gives King Nebuchadnezzar a disturbing dream. We can see immediately that he is operating as a prodigal because he is seeking interpretation everywhere except from the Holy Spirit. If he had the Holy Spirit, he would have been able to discern what the dream meant, but instead, he turned to magicians, astrologers, and wise men of the world. Yet even in his rebellion, God is still speaking to him. This dream was a warning. God warns prodigals before judgment, giving them space to turn and repent, but Nebuchadnezzar was too proud to humble himself. Like Nebuchadnezzar, a prodigal often does not have the right people around them. They are usually surrounded by others who are also in sin. Scripture tells us that bad company corrupts good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33) , and can two walk together unless they are agreed (Amos 3:3) . The voices around them cannot offer godly counsel because they are blind themselves. Still, God always places a destiny helper in your spouse's midst. In Nebuchadnezzar’s life, that helper was Daniel. In your spouse’s life, it may be a friend, a family member, a stranger, or even someone online. God can use anyone. Daniel interprets the king's dream; he highlights that the king was great, strong, fruitful, and influential. This shows us that Nebuchadnezzar was once operating in God's favour before pride took over. In my case, my spouse had achieved a leadership position at a fairly young age, something that usually takes many years to reach. God had favoured him in that area. His identity slowly became wrapped up in his success. God had to touch the very thing that fed his pride. That job was taken away through circumstances that led to dismissal and accusation. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). In Daniel 4:30, the King says, "Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for the house of the Kingdom by the might of my power, and for the honour of my majesty". God waited until Nebuchadnezzar exalted himself fully before humbling him. Nebuchadnezzar was driven away from men and made to dwell with the beasts. This mirrors the story of the prodigal son. It does not mean literal animals, but reckless, wild living, a descent into animalistic behaviour where the heart becomes hardened and cold. God does this by giving them over to their pride and the lusts of the flesh, as Romans 1:24 tells us. Daniel 4:23 tells us that the king would be in this condition "till seven times pass over him" This means that judgment was at an appointed time, and it was for an appointed time. Judgment was never meant to be forever. God already knew the moment the king would come to his senses. In the same way, God knows when your spouse will reach the point where the lifestyle becomes exhausting. While in Judgement, God brings them to remembrance of what they once had. The relationship may not have been perfect, but it was far better than in the world, which is like a jungle full of people who do not truly care for them. There is no real love outside of home, only temporary pleasure. When the appointed time was fulfilled, his understanding returned. God had taken it, and God restored it. This shows us that God was in control the entire time. The king came to fear the Lord, acknowledging that God does whatever He pleases. That reverence is what prodigals need to truly repent and return with a changed heart. God showed me my spouse’s judgment almost a year before we separated, although at the time, I did not understand what I was seeing. We were still married and very much in the Job season of our marriage. Judgment is often revealed ahead of time as a warning, either to the prodigal themselves or to someone standing in the gap for them. This is what encourages me most. God knows exactly what to touch in a prodigal’s life to get their attention. This should encourage anyone standing for marriage restoration. Prodigals will be humbled and restored. With Love, Victoria

There is a season of preparation, and preparation does not look the same for everyone. It can look different depending on your spouse’s needs, your family situation, and what God is calling you to steward in this season. But through the standing, through the warfare, through the trials, the fight, the heartbreak, the training, and the prayers in the night, God is preparing you. We see this in Scripture. Ruth was prepared for twelve months before she met King Xerxes, which suggests that there is a season when God prepares a woman to be a suitable helpmeet, a wife, and, if it is her desire, a future mother. Rising early to pray By the time you reach the later stages of your standing season, you should be well-equipped in spiritual warfare. You should begin to recognise the attacks of the enemy even before they fully manifest, sometimes even in your sleep, because your discernment has been sharpened through prayer and His word. One of the ways God prepares a wife is through rising early to pray. The fourth prayer watch is a time when you are called to pray over your household. This means waking up before everyone else, commanding your day, praying over your children, your home, your husband, yourself, and interceding for others. Rising early to arrange your household During this season, I have found that waking up before dawn, usually between 3 and 6 a.m., creates space not just for prayer, but for preparation. After prayer, I use that quiet time to cook, clean, wash dishes, iron clothes, exercise, and be still before the day begins. I realised that when I leave cooking and cleaning until everyone is awake, everything takes longer, I have less time to myself, less time with my children, and less time for the ministry God has given me. Home-cooked meals vs Fast food God has also taught me the importance of home-cooked meals. There is no shame for those who enjoy takeaway, but I noticed a difference in how I felt when I ate home-cooked food compared to takeaway, which often left me feeling unfulfilled. I never enjoyed cooking when I was younger and was even considered a bad cook, but over time, I have found joy in preparing meals for my children. It has been trial and error, learning new recipes, making healthier choices, and seeing the impact it has had on my well-being and my children’s health. Multiple business Ideas Another area of preparation has been building multiple streams of income. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, partnering with God has led to ideas flowing and opportunities opening. It doesn’t feel overwhelming because I work at my own pace. God is the best manager because he not only gives you the idea, but He also gives you the freedom to let your creativity flow. Planning, preparation, & Time management Time is a resource given by God. Our Time should not be spent doing fruitless activities,i.e watching gossip reality TV lol. Planning and preparation have also become part of my daily life, whether daily or weekly, learning to steward time well. Financial management Learning to manage a little well allows God to trust you with more. Understanding Kingdom financial principles such as saving, investing, giving, and managing household finances has been part of this preparation. Self-care and self-love Self-care has also shifted for me. Not worldly self-care, but honouring myself as God’s temple. Making sure I am presentable each day, bathing, wearing clean clothes, caring for my skin, keeping my hair and nails tidy. God is in the details. Even something as simple as choosing a scent or asking the Holy Spirit to guide me on hairstyles that suit my hair type has become part of my walk with Him. Learning and continuous development Spiritually, I now find joy in learning and developing my capacity, not just for my own growth, but so I can teach my children, have meaningful conversations with friends and family, and grow in wisdom for when my spouse returns. Continuous learning has become part of preparation. Character development God has also been teaching me how to speak, when not to speak, and how to show respect. This has been a significant area of healing for me, especially because I struggled with a Jezebel spirit in the past. Learning restraint, humility, and wisdom in speech has been part of God refining my heart. Preparation is about allowing God to shape you into your best self, into your full potential. Tell me in the comments how you have been preparing to be a wife, or if you are already a wife, how God is preparing you to be a better helpmeet. With Love, Victoria