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At Difficult Love, we believe in the power of partnership. Our personalised 1:1 coaching sessions are designed to help you navigate your current life season with warmth and biblical wisdom. Expect attentive listening, a tailored plan to meet your unique needs, and honest conversations that empower you to move forward in faith. What you can expect from a session; - Warm, honest conversations grounded in biblical wisdom and experience - Attentive listening to make sure you feel heard and understood - Sharing practical tips and prayer points - Finding actionable solutions and helpful resources Please ensure you come with a pen and notebook.

God created marriages, and His ways of establishing and cultivating them are the best. Marriages frequently go through seasons that can be found in the Bible. The Genesis season Purpose: Similar to Genesis, this marks the start when God discloses the individual He has chosen for you. While you might not hear a literal voice from above, God communicates in various ways. He speaks through peace, His Holy Spirit, His word, dreams, visions, people, discernment, or confirmations. Warfare: Attacks against clarity and God’s voice, doubt. The Job season Purpose: The enemy excels at stealing, killing, and destroying. Initially, you might be unaware of the ongoing warfare, puzzled by why everything seems to be unravelling. Arguments begin, conflicts arise, and you might find yourself questioning your decisions, perhaps even questioning God. This is a time of profound pain and intense questioning. Warfare: Lack of clarity, you have been thrown into a battle you may know nothing about. The Hosea Season Purpose: This season marks the end of the marriage or relationship. Like Hosea, you experience the breaking of the covenant. Separation occurs physically or otherwise. Your husband/wife may separate from you physically, emotionally, or mentally. You discover truth, betrayal, and you must decide whether to stand in the gap for restoration of the relationship or separate for good. God begins to communicate or gives you instructions about your Love story. Warfare: Attacks against your heart (not literal), doubt, confusion, and wounds open up. The Daniel Season Purpose: The humbling is the season where you go through a Nebuchadnezzar experience, a humbling under God’s hand. This is often marked by consequences of your past actions; God will chastise and discipline you, which leads to repentance and awakening. The aim is for your heart to soften and return to God. Daniel also represents purpose, elevation, doors and gates opening, and obedience leading to blessings. This season is marked by the start of the transformation of the heart as you get closer to God and to understand the nature and character of God, His laws, principles and commandments. As you grow in God and in wisdom, you discover your purpose, your calling, your assignment on earth. Warfare: Alignment, disobedience, attacks on assignment, procrastination, doubt The Nehemiah Season Purpose: This season is all about rebuilding yourself, the relationship and your purpose. This is the season of construction, where God begins to rebuild: trust, identity, faulty foundations. The enemy fights hard here, just like Sanballat and Tobiah. There is fear, distractions, and spiritual warfare trying to stop the rebuild. If you are married, you will begin to see the reasons why your marriage fell apart, the generational curses, word curses, and the relationship built on a faulty foundation, not in God. You should also be building your relationship with God as you get to know him. God teaches you how to fight spiritually. Warfare: Sabotage and discouragement The Jeremiah season Purpose: This season is a wilderness back-and-forth season. Like Jeremiah, there is wrestling, tears, and emotional conflict. More healing, more exposure of wounds, idols, cleansing, purging. God is fighting for you. The enemy knows you are close; he does not want you restored. Attacks on the mind, leading to rebellion and disobedience, giving up seems great. Warfare: disobedience, discouragement, rebellion, resisting backwardness. The Ezekiel season Purpose: The final season is about cleansing, judgment, resurrection, and restoration. Ezekiel represents the cleaning-up stage. God begins to clean you up for reconciliation with your person. It is the stage where God corrects your person. Resurrection of the dead things in the relationship. A new heart, a new spirit, covenant restored, final reconciliation. This is the season of new life, where God puts everything in order and restores the marriage to His original design. Warfare: Staying in alignment with God, resisting old patterns, walking in the new covenant, protecting what God has restored.

I have had many dreams, but one dream kept coming back, and for a long time, I couldn’t find the interpretation. In the dream, I was getting my hair braided. I told the mysterious braider to stop braiding my hair, and as I got up, she tried to harm me with her scissors. I fought back, and the next thing I knew, she was being escorted down the stairs and out of the building before she could retaliate. (THANK YOU JESUS!) I had seen this hair-braiding dream before and sought interpretation. This time it was clear: my character was under attack. The Setup for the Attack I had a dream, my spouse said, "I will be ready for a conversation in 1800 hours”. I assumed this meant we would reconcile. A few months later, on the 1st August (01/08), I received a long, heartfelt text, however there was no sign of reconciliation. Disappointment turned into anger, anger into bitterness, then confusion, then depression, until I found myself in full-blown rebellion against God. My heart hardened. I lashed out at my spouse, I complained at God, I stopped praying, worshipping, or even reading the word. I had completely missed the blessing. Instead of thanking God for letting my spouse reach out to me and pour his heart out to me, I complained and was angry that we were not reconciled at my appointed time. I started monitoring my spouse's social media, trying to prove to myself this stance wasn’t worth it. Obviously, that was the worst thing to do, as it only confirmed what I was feeling. I was miserable, and my peace was gone. But that night, a dream shook me awake. I cried out to God at my usual prayer time. I begged Him to speak to me through His Word, and He led me to Jeremiah 4 ,all about rebellion:“ If thou wilt return, O Israel, saith the Lord, return unto me: and if thou wilt put away thine abominations out of my sight, then shalt thou not remove.”(Jeremiah 4:1 KJV) I broke down in tears, confessed my rebellion, and had an honest heart-to-heart with the Father. Why Hair Braiding? At first, I thought the dream was random. The Bible actually speaks about braided hair in two places. In 1 Timothy 2:9 (KJV) Paul says:“ In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.” And in 1 Peter 3:3-4 (KJV) it says:“ Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” God used this dream to symbolise how the enemy can use disappointment as an open door to attack my character. The enemy wanted to tarnish the meek and quiet spirit that God was building in me and slip back into anger, pride, rebellion, and complaining. Braids also symbolise strands woven together. Ecclesiastes 4:12 (KJV) says:“ And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” For me, those three strands represented God, my spouse, and me. When I stepped into rebellion, the cord was weakened, I lost hope and faith in prayer, and the enemy tried to use it to delay or derail my destiny. Lessons learned 1. Leaning on your own understanding can lead to disappointment. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, KJV) Spirits rarely come alone. Disappointment teamed up with rage, anger, pride, idolatry, confusion, hatred, complaining, selfishness, impatience, depression, and many more. The Bible is clear: “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” (1 Samuel 15:23, KJV) Rebellion opens doors. We are like houses, and when a door is left open, spirits gain entrance. Demons wait for an opportune time: “And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.” (Luke 4:13, KJV) Hair-braiding dreams can symbolise an attack on your character. The enemy rebelled against God, and God does not take rebellion lightly. Jeremiah 4 makes it clear that rebellion leads to destruction, but the Lord always calls us back to Himself. This dream was a wake-up call to get back into alignment with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost so I could keep pressing toward my purpose. Practical Steps If you wake up a dream with your hair being braided, please rebuke the dream, come out of agreement with the dream and quote 1 Peter 3:3-4 in prayer and pray the fruits of the spirit over yourself. Look out for situations where the enemy can tempt you to behave in an ungodly way after the dream. Identify the spirits at work. If you feel depressed, that is a spirit of depression, these spirits are not of God. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the leagal access or open door. Repent of the sins you have committed. Cast out those spirits in Jesus’ name. Jesus said, “I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you” (Luke 10:19, NIV). It can also be spellwork, so I would pray against all spells attacking your character,identity etc. Stay prayerful and walk with the Holy Spirit daily. With Love, Vicky

A desire that God placed in your heart can quickly turn into idolatry if it is not stewarded properly and if God is not truly at the centre. This was my case. I was so eager to get married that I viewed some of the men I met as potential husbands, causing me to ignore certain warning signs. When I did not see marriage coming from those situations, I forced the relationships. I compromised, and I’m sure the men could sense that desperation. It was foolish, because firstly, I did not seek revelation from God about whether these men were my husbands. Secondly, I did not truly know God , the One who created marriage. Third, I did not even understand what marriage was actually about. This lack of understanding led me to repeated rejection, emotional abuse, and unhealthy relationships. Over time, I was fully operating in a Jezebel spirit, trying to control narratives and men instead of trusting God. Desperation can indeed lead to spiritual compromise. At one point, I was so hurt by an ex that I went online and found a simple spell. I used a candle and recited words, hoping he would call me. Minutes later, I received a message. I was looking for an apology, but none came. However, we reconnected. That moment opened a demonic door, just like the verse "Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. ”Matthew 12:43–45. Things went from bad to worse, leading to a relationship filled with shameful, lustful acts and both physical and spiritual consequences that caused further damage in my life. I share this to say that God does give us the desires of our hearts when those desires are aligned with and submitted to Him. As Scripture says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  However, when a desire is not submitted to God, the enemy can use it to lead a person into lust, control, manipulation, and other destructive patterns, especially when marriage becomes idolised. Learn what marriage truly is through the Holy Spirit and through God’s Word, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you, whether through Scripture, prayer, or Spirit-led ministries. Learn how to love God wholeheartedly, love yourself, and love people; that way, you will know how to love your spouse. Worldly books can give a worldly perspective. Some may be helpful, but they should always be approached with discernment and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Worldly knowledge without God does not produce wisdom. I learned the hard way that when God is not first, even good desires can become dangerous. Tips and Prayer points Repent for Idolising marriage, relationships and anything you have put before God. Repent for witchcraft, manipulation, control, covetousness. D ecide to put God first. Decide to study His word day and night. Treat God like your Husband. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal anything you have idolised. When anything comes to mind, repent. Ask God to remove all unhealthy desires. Break all soul ties with previous partners if you have not already. Ask God whathis will is for your life concerning marriage. With Love, Victoria