How Your Desire for Marriage Can Be Manipulated by the Enemy

A desire that God placed in your heart can quickly turn into idolatry if it is not stewarded properly and if God is not truly at the centre. This was my case.

I was so eager to get married that I viewed some of the men I met as potential husbands, causing me to ignore certain warning signs. When I did not see marriage coming from those situations, I forced the relationships. I compromised, and I’m sure the men could sense that desperation. It was foolish, because firstly, I did not seek revelation from God about whether these men were my husbands. Secondly, I did not truly know God, the One who created marriage. Third, I did not even understand what marriage was actually about.

This lack of understanding led me to repeated rejection, emotional abuse, and unhealthy relationships. Over time, I was fully operating in a Jezebel spirit, trying to control narratives and men instead of trusting God.

Desperation can indeed lead to spiritual compromise. At one point, I was so hurt by an ex that I went online and found a simple spell. I used a candle and recited words, hoping he would call me. Minutes later, I received a message. I was looking for an apology, but none came. However, we reconnected. That moment opened a demonic door, just like the verse "Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first.”Matthew 12:43–45. Things went from bad to worse, leading to a relationship filled with shameful, lustful acts and both physical and spiritual consequences that caused further damage in my life.

I share this to say that God does give us the desires of our hearts when those desires are aligned with and submitted to Him. As Scripture says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” However, when a desire is not submitted to God, the enemy can use it to lead a person into lust, control, manipulation, and other destructive patterns, especially when marriage becomes idolised.

Learn what marriage truly is through the Holy Spirit and through God’s Word, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you, whether through Scripture, prayer, or Spirit-led ministries. Learn how to love God wholeheartedly, love yourself, and love people; that way, you will know how to love your spouse.

Worldly books can give a worldly perspective. Some may be helpful, but they should always be approached with discernment and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Worldly knowledge without God does not produce wisdom. I learned the hard way that when God is not first, even good desires can become dangerous.

Tips and Prayer points

1. Repent for Idolising marriage, relationships and anything you have put before God.

2. Repent for witchcraft, manipulation, control, covetousness.

3. Decide to put God first.

4. Decide to study His word day and night.

5. Treat God like your Husband.

6. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal anything you have idolised. When anything comes to mind, repent.

7. Ask God to remove all unhealthy desires.

8. Break all soul ties with previous partners if you have not already.

9. Ask God whathis will is for your life concerning marriage.

With Love,

Victoria